CAT Fiasco Song

Before reading further please read disclaimer.

Disclaimer: The following line(s) do not intend to harm or denigrate the reputation of any organization(s) or individual(s), the sole purpose is humour.

Tirkintana,tirkintana,tirkintana...CAT CAT

tirkintana,tirkintana,tirkintana...CAT CAT

Hai chancellor, Hai counsellor, Popular, hai annular...annular annular

IIM maths mein tez hai, IIM ka students mein craze hai...IIM banata MBA, IIM lagta hai tez hai.

Prometric ke sath alliance hai...pattern online walaaa,

but IIM can't conduct s**la, but IIM can't conduct s**la,

haan IIM conduct nahin kar sakta.

tirkintana,tirkintana,tirkintana...CAT CAT

tirkintana,tirkintana,tirkintana...CAT CAT

paida IIM hua to kismatein chamki...uske muh mein thi Government ki subsidy,

hey, ye, ye... IIM ke paas hai paisa...haathon ke mail ke jaisa,

IIM students ka idol hai... aim hai, target hai,

but IIM can't conduct s**la, but IIM can't conduct s**la,

haan IIM conduct nahin kar sakta.

Coachings kehtein hain bada naam karega, IIM to aisa kaam karega,

IIM ke paas hai MBA, hai ye MNC's ka Gateway,

hey, ye, ye... IIM fests karata hai, jahan jata hai chah jata hai,

but IIM can't conduct s**la, but IIM can't conduct s**la,

haan IIM conduct nahin kar sakta.

PS: Consider Annular=yearly, it was rhyming good so I used it although it means 'Shaped like a ring'.

मेरा देश महान

ये सत्य है,

मेरा देश महान;

आतंकवादियों पर है हमारे फ़ौजीयों की लगाम,

देश के कोने कोने पर नज़र रखे हैं वीर-जवान;

हमने दोस्ती का हाथ कइ बार तमाम देशों के सामने बधाया,

लेकिन हर बार उनहोने हमारा ये न्योता ठुकराया;

भारतीय वैज्ञानिकों ने तीन-चार परमानु बम फोड़कर देश के दुश्मनो को स्तब्ध कराया,

हम भारतीयो का मान बढाया और दुनिया में भारत का तिरंगा झंडा फ़ेहराया;

अरे आतंकवादि हम भारतीय तो हमेशा से थे आगे,

इसी शक्ति को तो देख तुम सब यहाँ से भागे;

सुधर जाओ अब भी है तुमहारे पास बहुत वक्त,

नही तो लेना पडे़गा हमें कोइ कदम बड़ा सख्त;

इसी के साथ खत्म कर रहा हुँ अपनी ये कविता,

जब तक देश में देशभक्त रहेंगे बहती रहेगी देशभक्ति कि यह सरिता;

जय-हिंद जय-जवान,

मेरा भारत देश महान

-Ankit Bhatia

This work was written in 2003 most probably. The poem was written in least time as compared to my other one's: about 15 min. It was republic day or independance day and we have a gathering in our colony park for these occasions in the morning. My Father told me why not to present this poem before the people in the gathering for the competitions held.

  We permit this poem to be used by anyone at poetic contests, functions, meets, etc., however any electronic use of this poem including but not limited to internet posts, newspaper, magazines must carry a link back to this original post.

जब अपने धोका देते हैं

आज हमनें देखा जब अपने धोका देते हैं,
जब वो कायरों कि भाँती मुँह फ़ेरा करते हैं;
सच का सामना करना सीखें उनसे कह दो,
इन्सानियत नहीं है उनमे उनसे कह दो;
बन्धुत्व का नाता तोड्ते जा रहे हैं उनसे कह दो,
बेशरमी कि हदें पार करते जा रहे हैं उनसे कह दो;
हमारे सब्र की भी एक सीमा है उनसे कह दो,
वो पार हुइ तो बुरा होगा अनजाम उनसे केह दो;
चोरी छिपे काम करना छोडें उनसे कह दो,
अपने विवेक का सही इसतेमाल करें उनसे कह दो;
हमारा कोइ दुशमन नही है उनसे कह दो,
दुशमन भी दोस्त है हमारा उनसे कह दो




This poem was written in 2004 summers. I won't disclose as to whom I wrote this poem on but I nearly lost this poem when my mother snatched the paper and threw it in the dustbin. Thank god that the contents were still readable. I was in a fit of anger while writing this poem

लखनऊ रडियो-सिटी

लखनऊ का रडियो-सिटी सबको लुभाता,

अच्छे-अच्छे गाने ये हमें दिन रात सुनाता;

अयाज़ की अवाज सबको भाति,

पूजा भी इसमें चार-चाँद लगातीं;

सुन्दरमोहन जी कि तो बात ही क्या!,

वर्शा-वीरा इसे और चटपटा बनातीं;

आर-सी हाटलाइन में आती जब विन्य कि बारी,

फोन मिलाने वालों कि लंबी लाईन लग जाति,

आखिर में मैं बस कहूँगा इतना,

लखनऊ का रडियो-सिटी है सबसे अच्छा!

I had once called to lucknow radiocity in a caller program known as R.C.Hotline on 27 june, 2002. I think I requested some jagjit singh or adnan sami's song. When I was asked for dedications I took off with some 37 dedications all my classmates at that time. They remarked that "we hope it is not some voter list!!", haha. But after that interaction months after I thought to write down this poem and read it in their programme. But call it my busy life I never managed to call them again.

Also I would like to mention when 1st time I called radiocity the operator took up and asked "kaun sa gana sunna hai aapko" and I replied "pata nahin"!! and I hung up!, actually I was challenged by my brother that I won't be able to call to them because line was very busy but when the call actually took place I knew not what to say!!, that was really dumb of me!! :D

आज फिर आयी बहार

आज फिर आयी बहार,

आज हुआ मौसम गुल्ज़ार;

मन फ़िर मचला,

की लिखूं लाईने दो-चार;

जगजीत सिंह जी कि गज़ल भी,

आज फ़िर याद आयी है;

वो कागज़ की कश्ती,

वो बारिश का पानी;

कश्ती तो नही है अब,

पर है अब भी वो बारिश का ठंडा पानी;

रिमझिम सी ये बारिश,

अब कोई नया गीत सुना रही है;

अवाज तो नहीं है लेकिन,

कोई धुन ज़रूर गुनगुना रही है;

गरज़ता हुआ बादल भी,

पीछे ढ़ोल बजा रहा है;

चमकती हुई बिजली,

जीवन को नया ऊजाला दे रही है;

जून की गरमी में ये बारिश,

आज नयी उमंग लायी है;

ऊदास सा ये जीवन,

आज फ़िर खिल उठा है;

प्रकृति भी खुश है आज,

वो भी झूमना चाहती है;

पर क्यों हम इस प्रकृति को,

जकडते जा रहे हैं?

हरियाली अब बाकि नहीं,

सब जगह मकान बनते जा रहे हैं;

अब बाहर बारिश बंद हो गयी है,

लगता है प्रकृति भी मेरी इस बात से सहमत है!!

चलो फ़िर होगी बारिश ज़रूर,

फ़िर होगा मौसम गुलज़ार;

फ़िर ऊठाऊंगा कलम,

फ़िर लिखूंगा लाईने दो-चार

Written on 13/6/07, It was raining outside and I was in good mood So thought why not add up another poem to my stock. This poem is very less rhyming as compared to other poems of mine. I wrote this poem directly on my computer.

लाजो रानी

लाजो रानी बडी़ सयानी,

करती है अपनी मन्मानी;

सामने ईनके जो भी आता,

पल भर में पानी-पानी हो जाता;

अंग्रेजी मे इन्होने की है पी-एच-डी,

हर शब्द की बनाति हैं खिचडी़;

शैम्पूँ इन्का लग्ता बडा़ असरदार,

खुजली कराता इनसे बार-बार;

इनसे चोंच लडा़ना नहीं है आसान,

क्योंकी ईनकी ज़बाँन बहुत है बलवान

Artist takes out revenge from any person in his art. This is true for me too. This one was written maybe in 2003 or 2004 while I was in 12th class. We had chemistry practicals in our college(St. Fidelis College). Some Students were told about the date of practicals in her tuition(teacher's) class. Most other students came to know about this by their friends who attended the tuition classes. Because I didn't join her tuitions and nobody told me about the due date of practicals I didn't bring the necessary things on the d-day. Though in the morning I came to know by a friend of mine that she declared the date of practicals in her tuition classes

I am of the types that would not see the elderness of a person but if any person is 'wrong', he is 'wrong'. She didn't allowed me to attend the practicals. I launched myself into arguments with her. At last when she was going away upstairs I shouted loudly "Ma'am aap mera practical lengi ki nahin" "ma'am will you take my practicals or not??", I was brimming with anger, days after that anger was transformed into this poem!!, I remember one of copies of tis poem was kept with one of my classmate and I always thought she would cut my marks of exam if she came across that. Anyway marks were surely less in exams.

AAJ FIR AAI BAHAAR

Aaj fir aai bahar,
Aaj hua mausam gulzaar;
Man fir machla,
Ki likhoon line do-chaar;
Jagjit singh ji ki gazal bhi,
Aaj fir yaad aai hai;
Wo kagaz ki kashti,
Wo baarish ka pani;
Kashti to nahi hai ab,
Par hai ab bhi wo baarish ka thanda pani;
Rimjhim si ye baarish,
Ab koi naya geet suna rahi hai;
Awaj to nahi hai lekin,
Koi dhun zaroor gunguna rahi hai;
Garajta hua badal bhi,
Peeche dhol baja raha hai;
Chamakti hui bijli,
Jeeven ko naya ujala de rahi hai;
June ki garmi mein ye barish,
Aaj nayi umang layi hai;
Udaas sa ye jiven,
Aaj fir khil utha hai;
Prakriti bhi khush hai aaj,
Wo bhi jhoomna chahati hai;
Par kyon hum is prakriti ko,
Jakadte jaa rahe hain?
Hariyali ab baaki nahin,
Sab jagah makaan bante jaa rahe hain;
Ab bahar baarish band ho gayi,
Lagta hai prakriti bhi meri is baat se sehmat hai!!
Chalo fir baarish hogi zaroor,
Fir hoga mausam gulzaar;
Fir uthaunga kalam,
Fir likhoonga line do-chaar;

Written on 13/6/07, It was raining outside and I was in good mood So thought why not add up another poem to my stock. This poem is very less rhyming as compared to other poems of mine. I wrote this poem directly on my computer

DESHBHAKTI

Yeh satya hai:-

Mera desh mahan.

Aantankwadiyon par hai hamare faujiyo ki lagaam,

Desh ke kone kone par nazar rakhe hain veer jawan.

Hamne dosti ka haath kai bar tamam desho ke samne badaya,

Lekin har baar unhone hamara ye nyota thukraya.

Bhartiya vagyaniko ne teen-chaar parmanu bum phodkar desh ke dushmano ko stabdh karaya,
Hum bhartiyon ka maan badaya aur duniyan mein bharat ka tiranga jhanda fahraya.

Are aantankwadi hum bhartiya to hamesha se the aage,

Isi shakti ko to dekh tum sab yahan se bhaage.

Sudhar jaao ab bhee hai tumhare paas bahut waqt,

Nahi to lena padega hamein koi kadam bada sakht.

Isi ke saath khatm kar raha hoon apni ye kavita,

Jab tak desh mein deshbhakt raheinge,behti rahegi deshbhakti ki ye sarita.

Jai hind,Jai jawan,

Mera Bharat Desh Mahan.

Authored and shared by - Ankit Bhatia

About the work: This poem was written in 2003. The poem was written in least time as compared to my other one's: about 15 min. It was republic day or independence day and we had a gathering in our colony's park for the occasion in the morning. My Father told me why not to present this poem before the people in the gathering for the competitions that were held.

  We permit this poem to be used by anyone at poetic contests, functions, meets, etc., however any electronic use of this poem including but not limited to internet posts, newspaper, magazines must carry a link back to this original post.

LUCKNOW RADIOCITY

Lucknow ka radiocity sabko lubhata,

Ache-ache gane ye hamein din raat sunata;

Ayaaz ki awaaz sabko bhaati,

Pooja bhi ismein chaar chaand lagati;

Sundermohan ji ki to baat hi kya?,

Varsha-vira ise aur chatpata banati;

R.c.hotline mein aati jab viney ki bari,

Phone milane walon ki lambi line lag jaati;

Aakhir mein main kahoonga bas itna,

Lucknow ka radiocity hai sabse acha!

I had once called to lucknow radiocity in a caller program known as R.C.Hotline on 27 june, 2002. I think I requested some jagjit singh or adnan sami's song. When I was asked for dedications I took off with some 37 dedications all my classmates at that time. They remarked that "we hope it is not some voter list!!", haha. But after that interaction months after I thought to write down this poem and read it in their programme. But call it my busy life I never managed to call them again.

Also I would like to mention when 1st time I called radiocity the operator took up and asked "kaun sa gana sunna hai aapko" and I replied "pata nahin"!! and I hung up!, actually I was challenged by my brother that I won't be able to call to them because line was very busy but when the call actually took place I knew not what to say!!, that was really dumb of me!! :D

LAJO RANI

Lajo rani badi sayani,

Karti hai apni manmani;

Samne inke jo bhi aata,

Pal bhar mein pani-pani ho jata;

Angreji mein inhone ki hai P.H.D.,

Har shabd ki banatien hain khichdi;

Shampoo inka lagta bada asardar,

Khujli karata inse bar-bar;

Inse chonch ladana nahi hai aasaan,

Kyonki inki zabaan bahut hai balwan.

Artist takes out revenge from any person in his art. This is true for me too. This one was written maybe in 2003 or 2004 while I was in 12th class. We had chemistry practicals in our college(St. Fidelis College). Some Students were told about the date of practicals in her tuition(teacher's) class. Most other students came to know about this by their friends who attended the tuition classes. Because I didn't join her tuitions and nobody told me about the due date of practicals I didn't bring the necessary things on the d-day. Though in the morning I came to know by a friend of mine that she declared the date of practicals in her tuition classes.

I am of the types that would not see the elderness of a person but if any person is 'wrong', he is 'wrong'. She didn't allowed me to attend the practicals. I launched myself into arguments with her. At last when she was going away upstairs I shouted loudly "Ma'am aap mera practical lengi ki nahin" "ma'am will you take my practicals or not??", I was brimming with anger, days after that anger was transformed into this poem!!, I remember one of copies of this poem was kept with one of my classmate and I always thought she would cut my marks in exam if she came across that. Anyway marks were surely less in exams!

JAB APNE DHOKA DETEIN HAIN

Aaj hamnein dekha jab apne dhoka detein hain,
Jab vo kayaron ki bhanti muh fera kartein hain,
Sach ka samna karna seekhein, unse keh do,
Insaniyat nahi hai unmein, unse keh do,
Bandhutv ka nata todte ja rahein hain, unse keh do,
Besharmi ki hadein par kartein ja rahein hain, unse keh do,
Hamare sabr ki bhi ek seema hai, unse keh do,
Vo par hui to bura hoga anjaam, unse keh do,
Chori-chipe kam karna chodein, unse keh do,
Apne vivek ka sahi istemaal karein, unse keh do,
Hamara koi dushman nahi hai, unse keh do,
Dushman bhi dost hai hamara, unse keh do.

This poem was written in 2004 summers. I won't disclose as to whom I wrote this poem on but I nearly lost this poem when my mother snatched the paper and threw it in the dustbin. Thank god that the contents were still readable. I was in a fit of anger while writing this poem!